Happy New Year 2012!! December 31, 2011
Posted by emma1202 in Diary of Life.Tags: Happy New Year 2012, Mr Sun, Penang, Telling The Truth
add a comment
Good morning my bloggers 
How are you doing? Today is the last day of 2011! Bright and sunny in Seri Kembangan. Praise to God. What a lovely morning. I woke up at 6am and as always, morning is always my thing.
So, last night, I’ve decided to go to Penang. Just to end 2011 and start 2012. Will drive back to KL tomorrow evening. Please pray for my safe journey I always want to go somewhere. It’s either two places: Fraser’s Hills or Penang. My heart goes to these two places. This is my first time driving alone up north and for an adventureous. Normally I go with some friends. This time, I need to be brave and conquer my fear. I hope to see some miracles and find some answers of life 
Interesting, isn’t it?
Wow! Mr Sun just came up. Let me see it! Wow! Praise to God! Mr Sun looks so beautiful this morning in between greyish-blueish cloud rays Thank you Lord
My dear blogger,
Two nights ago, I told my true feeling to a friend. It feels so good to get out from my chest. It’s not a big feeling. It’s the best feeling of all. I can accept it and he also can accepts it. So, now I can move on happily. I wish I could reveal about what it is. But I know, you always keep me in your prayers. May God bless you and your family. amen.
All right then..need to get ready. Take care and have a great new year. May 2012 gives us more happiness with good relationship, good success, and good money. amen
Till then, I love you all. Remember, my tagline “Love yourself, then others know you love them” ~ Emma xoxox.
Going Home December 28, 2011
Posted by emma1202 in Diary of Life.add a comment
Dear my bloggers,
I wish you are well and happy. Just want to let you know, I am flying back to KL tonight. I am quite nervous now actually. There are a couple of things that I am still waiting for. One of them is I have a talk with the youth this afternoon at 3pm. Kinda nervous as it’s been a long time I didn’t give a talk or sharing session with youths. I know I am used to this.
And another thing is …I cannot reveal here. Please keep your prayers for me and my smooth journey. I hope my application is approved. amin.
All right then, take care and miss you all! Love ~ Emma xx
Merry Xmas To You!! :D December 25, 2011
Posted by emma1202 in Diary of Life.Tags: Merry Xmas 2011
add a comment
Good morning and Merry Xmas to you all,
How are you doing? It’s raining in Kuching. Oh yeah, I am back to Kuching last week. Few reasons to come back. One big reason is to take a break from my life in KL and people over there! Too many things happened and I really needed to recharge! 
Now, I feel homesick. Missing my apartment and my single life in KL. I think I cannot be at one place for more than a week! When I decided to fly back to Kuching, I didn’t buy my return ticket. I didn’t know when to come back. Then few days ago, I bought my air ticket back and will fly back to KL next Wednesday night at 8. I have a company this time.
Last week, I spent my day time at the faculty. It was so pleasant to be with close friends. Some familiar faces and some local friends. Unlike in KL, most of my friends are international. I just need to balance my life up.
I feel that my visit this time has many purposes. Too many family dramas, too many other dramas. No doubt, it’s a tensed situation in family. And friends, well…I don’t know what to believe and I keep my prayers. I don’t want to get hurt and hurt others as well. I did tell a special friend of mine about my feelings. I think he needed to know about my real feeling and it’s very important as I want to have a healthy working environment next year. Not only working environment, but also my personal life.
At the moment, I am thinking deeply. I’d like to help a friend. But for some reasons, if I helped ‘in this kind of situation’ (just say it’s M), I am afraid if I lost him. Friendship doesn’t go along with M. It’s a bad bad thing. I need to think how to not feel awkward and our friendship is remained after this. I feel that as his friend, I need to help him. I can feel his burden and no one cares and knows. There were many times I had this thought- if he is really married, then where is the wife? What’s the point of having a wife, but couldn’t help? Oh well, that’s another story, isn’t it? So, see how it goes. I hope I can help him on the basis of our friendship. I want to show him that he’s not alone (he always tells me that he’s alone in this journey and needs to work out by himself), and want to tell him, what happiness means. For God’s willing
Oh yeah, remember when I shared with you all about the M proposal? Did I tell everyone, I agreed to talk about this? Yes, at first I was chicken out. hahahha Last night, on emas eve, I talked to him. He was really serious and for God’s willing, we are going to see and sit down and talk about this thoroughly. It’s going to be tough due to our big differences. My concern is about his sacrifice to convert to Islam, his move to Malaysia, and many things. But I do believe this, if a man wants to do this because of wanting to be with me, I guess, I can consider his proposal. Yes, love is another story. Love doesn’t always mean we will be fine. So many things need to think about. Like money which this topic or issue always becomes a problem in marriage nowadays. I know I have to go back to my first intention- why do I want to get married? I want companionship. I want to be with someone who loves me, makes me happier, and appreciate this life. And at the same time, I want stability and security in all aspects. amen..I know, I am a demanding.
all righ then, take care.
love~emma xx.
Happy Maal Hijrah November 28, 2011
Posted by emma1202 in Diary of Life.add a comment
Hello my bloggers
How are you doing? First, I’d like to wish everyone a Happy Maal Hijrah (Happy New Year for our Muslim calendar). I know, it’s belated but frankly speaking, I thought the new year is today, not yesterday. I just realized it yesterday morning when I wanted to go to see my doctor for my regular checking. I feel bad as a Muslim. I know dates are not my thing now. It’s not good. Time flies really fast and I just ensure every day I do something and achieve some of them, at least.
Anyway, I hope everything is fine with you. As for me, things are doing ok. I hope in this year, I cherish my life more. For God’s willing
Although few days ago, a friend or maybe no more a friend ended our friendship due to a silly thing. Might be to him, it was a big thing. He was so nonsense. In the past two weeks, seemed that I had dramas with friends. After the friendship breakup, I’ve asked myself- AM I NOT A GOOD FRIEND TO MY OWN FRIENDS? I noticed that since I openned up my feeling, showing up my nerd-ess to be so honest, shared my sensitivity about disagrement about something, my friends seem couldn’t take my honesty and my real me. Yes, I am nice and kind. I empathize a lot and try to understand and compromise. But at some point, I cannot take it anymore. I can be so confrontational. Trust me…I don’t like me when I am at that stage. May be I am too harsh and not saying good things. I ’stop and check’ myself, I don’t use harsh words, I don’t raise voice, and show my upsetness..but I use my factual words that reflect to what I see and hear and responses from my friends’ behavior and words. Believe me..I still try my best to be liberal. I listen first.
So now.. am I really not good to my own friends? Or may be this is one of the answers from God? As I pray to God, to give me good friends. Apart those friends who always give me the negative energy? I know, I am not supposed to question about my prayers to God. Of course I want the best for myself and for my friends too. May be I am giving them the negative energy and this is the best way to ’settle it?’ I hope I can see the goodness from this situation.
about the friend who ended our friendship…it’s so silly. Let me give you a concept. Let’s me and him (A) play in the playground. And suddenly, another friend (B) comes and I play with this friend. But before I want to play with A, I’ve asked B to play with me first. B came late and as if I left A behind. Which I don’t invite A to the playground. It happens A is there already and invited himself. A gets so excited and I don’t feel I want to play with him before B comes. Very childish, doesn’t it? I don’t expect this kind of situation between me and a 35 yr old man!
Ok then..time to get ready for a wedding reception. Take care and have a nice day. Miss you guys a lot and thanks for checking me up Love always ~ Emma xx
A “M” Proposal? November 13, 2011
Posted by emma1202 in Diary of Life.Tags: Proposal
add a comment
Hello my bloggers,
How’s your Sunday? Mine, old same old same but something new I did this morning. I did my exercise in the morning, instead in the evening. I was wondering what is the best time for me to exercise? I think I wanna try to exercise, walking on my treadmill machine every morning. See, how it goes for 3 days. For God’s willing
Haven’t done anything yet on my work. My brain feels tired. I guess, it needs to rest after my 2-day-of-period-pain! Crazy, isn’t it?
Anyway, just writing here and I’d like to share some thoughts with you, my dear bloggers. the thing is..last week, a British friend of mine from the UK, told me that he still has the feeling towards me. He says he doesn’t mind to move to Malaysia, find job here, settle down here with me, and this is the best part what he says…if our religion becomes our constraint, then he’s willing to convert to Islam. Intense, isn’t it? He said, try to finish your PhD soon and we shall talk. Yes, I want to settle down after my phd. Definitely! It’s time to think about personal life after this. I pray and pray to God about this. To show me to this man. amen..
So, this is my second drama. I don’t want to say any further to this lovely friend. I like him. When I was in London, he was my ‘family’ there. Yes, he told me about his feeling before I left London for good. And he knew that I could not commit as he wished. He knew that.
As you could imagine, I was scared. I am scared and I told him, you scared me! hahahaha..I am not sure whether that is the right feeling or not. But one friend told me, in life, we need to be brave to get out from our comfort zone. Yes, I know that. I am the princess of trying new things. but not in my personal life…in my career of course! heheheh… I pray that God gives me strength and sanity to decide amen
Please pray for me, my dearest friend bloggers. Thank you so much for your care and love to me. I need this, and of course my priority is still to finish my phd. Writing about this, I am meeting my first supervisor tomorrow. Pray for my calmness and my brain functions well. amen…
Till then, take care and have a great weekend ahead. Love from me ~Emma xxo
Single vs. Married November 12, 2011
Posted by emma1202 in Diary of Life.Tags: Single vs. Married
add a comment
Good evening everyone
How are you doing? How’s everything? Hope your life is great so far I have a drama this week…I know I know..as usual drama drama drama Well, but for sure I did learn something this week, a lot!
After 3 this afternoon, I felt much better after another monthly episode Praise to God, I survived from the pain episode. And started to do my work. Slowly, try to boost my energy up. Need to eat a lot of vegies and fruities..hehehe
Anyway, my drama was related to violation of trust from a married couple. I am still thinking about this..it’s still bothering and my feeling is still disturbed due to this matter. Put in this way, I am blessed to have a circle of friends who are educated and expert in their expertise. But one thing I simply take for granted is as they are in this ‘professional world’ which I shouldn’t because they are just human being..not perfect, some of them do not know how to differentiate between personal and professional life. It should be like this. But some or few people, they just or may be their partner don’t understand how to differentiate, or sense of respect to their partner. Although you are married (please forgive me to write this as a single lady), doesn’t mean you (wife or husband) need to check every single action, emails, phone calls, etc esp related to the work stuffs. If you do, this shows that your marriage (it’s a sign) is in trouble!!! Honest! You don’t respect your own partner’s privacy, no trust and definitely, you are so paranoid about yourself and about your partner and marriage, obviously. I am sorry for writing this *-*
This is me… When I write to someone, means I trust that person to get his or her advice about my personal life. Yes, I am a counselor..even a registered counselor in Malaysia, but still, I have problems in life, and dilemmas in life, and I need some experts to help me. But I don’t want any person or third party to read my personal emails. It doesn’t matter she or he reads one or two lines or the whole emails, to me it’s a violation of trust between me and my friend. I don’t want to get involve in any marriage dramas, because I have a lot in my plate already. I don’t want to listen and try to understand the third party’s feeling because what I do is just to get some advice. If I wanted to, I asked. That’s a simple rule, OK! What’s wrong with this person? The good thing was I had a feeling on the very morning day when I found out about this!
I was so irrational and childish. I blocked the emails and try not answer any calls and texts. Yes, I did that because I felt hurt! I confronted the friend, and you won’t believe what my friend said to me. That was insane! I know, it’s not good to break a friendship up. But I don’t want to make friends with people who don’t trust me as friend..careless about my feelings. no matter I am right or wrong, at the end of the day, I am in my losing side. so, I don’t want to waste my time with this kind of friendship. I think you can feel my upsetness about this..right? hehehe
If I was a client, I definitely would make a complain about this kind of violation. I feel embarassed. I feel hurt. My friend said that he/she does not want to hurt partner’s feeling. How about my feeling? Is this a loss for single person? No one will care about single person’s feelings? Bad isn’t it? Hellloooo…we single person are human being too….
Anyway, that’s my lesson of the week. I know not all married couples are like that. I know many married couples who trusted each other, respect each other’s boundaries etc. I think, my observation about life, really reminds and teaches me how to behave one day. I believe there are many ways to communicate between couples. To me, if one partner tries so hard to please another partner, and tries to avoid argument, and start screaming at partner, name calling, etc…those are signs of emotional abuse! Beware of these signs..not only for married couples, but to bf/gf too. I know, many things…you know your relationship best than me. I know who am I to write and say about this..I know who am I but I have to voice this out..because single person has feelings too. 
All right then, you do take care and pray for the best esp for our life. Take care and good night. Sweet dreams ~ Emma xx
Salam Aidiladha November 8, 2011
Posted by emma1202 in Diary of Life.Tags: Codependency between parents and children, happiness in life, life journey, Love yourself, Salam Aidiladha 2011
add a comment
Good morning and a very good Salam Aidiladha to all my bloggers
Howa are you doing? I hope everything is fine. How was your Aidiladha going on? I celebrated with my few Iranian friends. It was a great catch-up with them as we didn’t keep in touch for a long time. Had a great intellectual discussion though about codependency between parents and children.
The major question was ”How much we have to respect our parents when they are so codependent to us?” She popped out this kind of question and along the way there were more. Another interesting question, “Do we have to wait for parents’ blessings before we settle down? How long do we have to wait? What if, the parents didn’t give any blessing? Should we wait?”
I am a traditional daughter. I still believe about getting blessing from my parents. I need their bless so that I feel calm in my life journey. I know there will be a lot of obstacles along the way and a lot of bumpy and wearisome. I need my parents’ doa and guidance. Although we are apart from each other, the feeling is there! Hard to explain but I believe you know what I mean The thing is everyone sacrifices when someone is away from home. The loneliness..the empty nest…it kills us. But we have goals in life. In order to achieve these goals, we need to sacrifice. We want to change our life to a better one, dont’ we? So for God’s willing, we can
I told this friend, just remember, without our parents, we won’t be in this world. no family doesn’t have family drama. No family is perfect because we are not perfect! We are different to each other. We have our beliefs and values. But I know one thing, any relationship that we want to work it out, we need to put effort in it. If we are not ready, it’s better don’t do anything and just be there. Only God knows.
My dearest bloggers,
I am 33 year-old and I’ve found many different people who have different view of life. A friend of mine keeps telling me, ”I don’t know what do I want in this life? I know, I want this PhD, good family, good money, etc, but what actually we want?” I tell him everytime, I want happiness!~ proudly I say ;) And he asks me again, “What is happiness?” I have my own definition of happiness and tell him. But for some reasons, he cannot accept my answer. Hey, that’s my definition, isn’t it? See, how someone can just ‘do that’ to us. I remember I read something about this matter. I am blessed that I am a positive thinker and I know what I want in life so far. But sometime, in life, like I said earlier, my life journey is bumpy now. I am struggling inside out. Spiritually, I need this. I am learning now
Ok then..long story…just wanna to share with you. I know, I am kinda disappointed you and for those who always check on me, may God bless you and your family. Let’s pray together for our happiness, our safety, and our good relationship with God and others. amen
Till then, Selamat Hari Raya Aidiladha. Remember, show your love to yourself first, then others can feel the loving side of yours Love always from me ~Emma xoxo.
Happy Diwali October 25, 2011
Posted by emma1202 in Diary of Life.Tags: Festival of Light, Happy Deepavali, Happy Diwali 2011
add a comment
Hello my Indian bloggers,
Happy Deepavali to you and have a great festival of light this year with your loved ones
From my apartment, there is fireworks and they are so pretty..the weather is just nice. Chilly, cold, and breezy Just after rained
So, Happy Deepavali and love always ~ Emma xoxo.
My Current Life October 11, 2011
Posted by emma1202 in Diary of Life.add a comment
Good morning my bloggers
how are you?!! Long time yeah? I am so sorry. Things are getting hectic. Since raya, my life is so crazy. Sometimes I don’t feel my feel on the ground even! hahaha…
Just wanna to share with everyone as you are part of my achievement so far:
1. I passed my proposal defense (Praise to God)
2. I started my pilot study. I went to Miri, Sarawak 2 weeks ago and visited my parents for 2 nights.
3. My committee meeting went well. Many things need to amend- for sure! PLease keep me in your prayers
4. Then, last Thursday, my BP was really high. It was 140/90! I suffered of hypertension symptoms for 2 and a half days! I was really scared. My head was really ‘different’. The pain was so bad! after 10 months, I got this BP again. This is due to no rest and eat well. Praise to God, last Sunday morning, I managed to be on my feet and was able to pick up my dad, aunt and cousin from the airport. But I was still weak.
5. Now, they are here. So far, I am doing OK. Still in cautious stage. As a hostess, I have to ensure my special guests are in a good and comfortable stage.
6. At the same time, I need to do my work. So this is a bit difficult. Like this morning, I woke up at 4am and managed to do a bit of work. I owe Aunt Zu some pieces of writing. I supposed to submit them last weekend, I just couldn’t due to my health. So, I am working on this now at the same time working on my phd work. Don’t worry, I still can prior my tasks. I hope everyone will understand my situation.
7. You know, I am so grateful because there is some friend who understands my situation and he’s offering his help to me. With his help, I feel a bit relief though I don’t like the feeling because he helps me. Only God can pay his kindness to me. And definitely only God can pay your kindness too.
Ok then..I need to go now. Need to buy breakfast for my special guests. All right then, take care and remember, love yourself and others ~ Emma xx
Happy Malaysia Day ;) September 16, 2011
Posted by emma1202 in Diary of Life.Tags: "The Lost Valentine", Happy Malaysia Day, Men
add a comment
Dear my bloggers,
How are you doing? How’s life? Busy? Or just follow the flow? I am doing fine, well..I hope. I don’t know how to describe my life now.
After Eid holiday, life has been busy at my end. I wish I could finish my study soon. I hope it will be ended soon..amen..
Recently, one of the things that occupy my mind is about my relationship. Relationship is interesting. I want it. But recently, my history came back. I don’t know why I want to keep this history comes back. Although I met new men, but they are just not right for me. One man has a potential to abuse my emotion. I am exhausted to hear what he says. Whatever I say and do, he just twists my words or behavior in negative ways. I know, it’s not my problem- it’s his. Now, I am ignoring him. I think that’s the best way to do.
The second man- wow! I don’t know why God keeps show me of him around me (from far- phew!!) Like tonight, I went to my usual place to have dinner and study, and saw him again. Long story short, there was weekend, he sent me a text and I didn’t reply him immediately as I was busy. Till the next day, he sent another text and said that he would kill himself and I had to be responsible for his behavior. What a silly and childish thing to say! After that, I replied him that I was busy, and I didn’t expect to hear this kind of abusive words from him.
Two examples enough to tell myself. “Why do I have to be with these men, if I knew their attitudes are suck?” It’s better to live alone and run my own life as I wish. I believe, one day there is a charming prince who is meant for me. Amin. Sad yeah? Honestly, I am not desperate yet. I am happy with my life. Just that, I need to have good friends around me. Blessing from family.
Anyhoo..I think that’s about it. I am watching this ‘The Lost Valentine’ on Hallmark. I hope towards the end of my PhD journey, I hope to find my real Valentine soon amen..
All right then, time to rest. Take care and have a great evening ahead. Oh yeag, Happy Malaysia Day!
Love always ~ Emma xoxo
