A weekend gateaway

Hello everyone,

As I shared with you about my last blog, I went to Santubong Resort for a night.  I checked-in yesterday afternoon and checked-out this morning.  Praise to God everything was fine.  I really needed my time alone and had my own space to meditate.  It was good and the most important thing was my mom was really understanding her daughter.  Even my aunt felt weird when I said that to her.  I am grateful that she was not my mom. hehehe..  

I had a great room with view, on top floor and a king-size bed.  I had my long bath this morning.  It was great. 

Every thought I jotted down in my new notebook.  As if, I was doing retreat about me and my life. 

I have few things I need to do.   I will share with you after I’ve done it one by one.  I hope what I am trying to do here will give good in return. 

All right then, take care and have a great weekend ahead. Take care and please keep praying for me.  The meeting will be continued again tomorrow. Hopefully I shall hear a good news about my study on Tuesday or sooner. Amin…

Till then, good luck to everyone

Love~ Emma xx.

Nervous..

Hello again,

I think this is my third blog for today.  I am so nervous. Called the university and the lady asked me to call next Tuesday as they has adjourned  the meeting to next Monday. According to her, there were so many papers need to be presented.  But the good thing is my application is in now. So shall wait till Monday. 

I feel I wanna to get sick…I think I have a little bit of temperature now.  Internally, I am really stressed out.  This is the bad part.  It’s hard for me to ‘express my stress’.  The sign if I have this episode is my period.  It becomes irregular and this month was really a heavy flow.  I was scared if I passed out. Praise to God, I didn’t.  I took supplements like Evening Primrose Rose 500g, vitamin C 1g and other herbs supplements.  I pity my body system.  I really thankful my body is ‘adaptable’ though sometime my body rebels (hehehe..)  Another factors that always keep me up are my family and friends.  My advise is try to maintain your good relationship with your family and friends.  Call your old friends. Call your best friend (yeah, I should call my best friend too..it’s been 4-5 days I didn’t hear from her…hehe).  Spend your time with your beloved one(s).  I do too.  I know sometime I don’t have time and he doesn’t too..but we try to make it happens.  Talk openly…speak your mind.  Though he told me that I am confrontational and may hurt others. hahahah… That’s a sign I have to think more before I speak.  I am practising it but sometime, something and someone really pisses me off. My laser mouth couldn’t wait my brain to give orders. hahahaha…  Thanks dear! xx

 Oh dear…my Xmas spirit is almost gone… I wanna to relax and feel don’t want to see people…I want to hide and meditate.  Oh Lord…please guide me to Your right path..amen. 

I believe there must be a blessing about my life at the moment.   If I got in, meaning I have to prepare urgently for the whole thing. So, God knows better though in my heart I want it! My ‘id’ really kick in this time.  But I have to control and I need to be resilient   Amen…

Meditation..yes..I need that…I think it’s better for me to go for a weekend gateway….I am checking out Santubong Resort. hehehe… hopefully they have a room available for me to meditate. 

Ok then, take care guys. Please keep praying for me…

Love ~ Emma xx.

She got her own by Ne-Yo

Hello guys,

My friend, Sanj from London introduced me this song when I was in London. I still remember what he said to me, “This song reminds me of you.”  Thank you Sanj   May you have a great company in life soon (For God’s willing). 

Enjoy guys!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LKj5MWHTInY

She Got Her Own (ft Jamie Foxx & Fabolous ) Lyrics

(source: http://www.elyricsworld.com/she_got_her_own_(ft_jamie_foxx_,,_fabolous_)_lyrics_ne-yo.html )

[Intro]
A dedication…
To the independent woman
To the one working hard for hers
This is just my way of letting you know…
I see you baby.
And I brought a friend of mine to help me show
My appreciation the right way
Ladies…Mr. Jaime Foxx
Mr. Foxx…ladies

(remix)

[Jamie Foxx]

I love her cause she got her own
She don’t need mine, so she leave mine alone
There ain’t nothing that’s more sexy

Than a girl that want but don’t need me (oh!)
Young independent, yea she work hard
But you can’t tell from the way that she walk
She don’t slow down ’cause she ain’t got time
To be complaining, shawty gone shine
She don’t expect nothing from no guy
She plays aggressive, but she still shy
But you never know her softer side
By lookin’ in her eyes….
Knowin’ she can do for herself
Makes me wanna give her my wealth
Only kinda girl I want
Independent queen workin’ for her throne
I love her cause she got her own…
She got her own
I love her cause she got her own
She got her own
I love it when she say
It’s cool I got it, I got it, I got it
I love it when she say
It’s cool I got it, I got it, I got it

(remix)

[Ne-Yo]

I love her cause she got her own
She don’t need mine, so she leave mine alone
There ain’t nothin’ that’s more sexy
Than a girl that want, but don’t need me
Lovely face
Nice thick thighs
Plus she got drive that matches my drive
Sexy Thang
She stay fly
All the while payin’ her bills on time
She don’t look at me like Captain save ‘em
Gold Diggin, no she don’t do that
Now she look at me like inspiration
She wanna be complimentin’ my swag
And everything she got, she worked for it,
Good life made for it
She take pride in sayin’ that she paid for it

Only kind of girl I want
Independent queen workin’ for her throne
I love her cause she got her own
She got her own
I love her cause she got her own
She got her own
I love it when she say
It’s cool I got it, I got it, I got it
She say
Uh Uh, I got it, I got it, I got it

Fab: When shorty come around they call her “I got it”
She won’t even let you put your hands in your pocket
Haha…
Gotta love that though
Loso! Case you ain’t know so baby…

[Fabolous]

Don’t make me laugh boo
Never did that bad to
Make you even have to
But even if I had to
Ask my better half to
You be more than glad to
When I do that math boo
You always try to add two
I need someone who’d ride for me
Not someone who’d ride for free
She said boy I don’t just ride, She’ll pull up beside of me
I had to ask her what she doin’ in that caddy
She said “cause you my baby I be stuntin’ like my daddy”
And there’s not many, who catch my eye
We both wearing gucci, she match my fly
And that’s why I, Suppose to keep her closer
Right by the side, Toaster in the holster
And now she wit Loso,
‘Case you didn’t know so
You can save your money dawg shorty getting dough so
What she care wit his cars, you can call her miss boss
I got it backwards, criss cross, shorty got her own

[Jamie Foxx]

Now all my ladies that dont need a man for nothing, except some of that good lovin let me here you say
oooo oooo oooo oooo

[Ne-Yo]

Now all my fellas know you need to stop the frontin if you love an independent woman let me hear you say
oooo oooo oooo oooo

I love her cause she got her own
got her own
I love her cause she got her own
she got her own
I love it when she say
It’s cool I got it, I got it, I got it
I love it when she say
Uh Uh, I got it, I got it, I got it

Love ~ Emma xx.

Tic Toc Tic Toc…

Hello guys,

Just want to write tic toc tic toc….

Have a good day ahead

Love ~ Emma xx.

Counting my days…

Hello everyone,

How are you doing today? My day so far is fine.  Half of the morning I continued my newspaper research on youth.  Came back to the office and had my lunch with two green apples and a small cup of mushroom soup. 

I called the university again.  The fellow said they will bring my application to the senate meeting tomorrow. Oh Lord, please give me this opportunity to learn from someone who can guide me  here and in the hereafter.  Amen.  I need a teacher who can teach me about life.  Yes, PhD is ‘a bonus’ for me.  Some people may see PhD as their life but not me.  It’s part of my life.  It’s a great struggle. I hope I manage to be someone who can help others especially adolecents and children. 

I hope tomorrow will give me a new direction.  As I mentioned last night, my time is almost up and I am ready. Although I am nervous and anxious about the whole new supervision process.  Sometime I recall the ‘bad’ moments during my supervisions.  I am grateful that I have faith and always remember Allah.  I am not a good Muslim and I know that.  Nonetheless I hope Allah always protect me and forgive for my wrongdoings. Amen… 

All right guys, please do take care.  I miss my friends in London and Cardiff so much   Not only that, other friends from Germany,  China, Japan, America and wherever they are. It’s snowy in Europe.  Be careful guys   I read newspaper this morning, in Poland and other Europe countries were heavy snowing and caused 80 deaths so far due to the accidents and too cold.  Keep warm

Love always~ Emma xx.

I think my time is almost up…

Hi all,

Hope you are well.  I am fine, just tired from my menses.  

I believe everything happens has reason behind it.  I do.  My decision to move back to Malaysia and reported my duty for few months to stop my study leave’s clock has some reasons.  Closed friends of mine said to me my presence here is a blessing though my study haven’t completed yet.  It was not only from my closed friends but also from my family members.  My dad’s health condition is unpredictable. One day he’s all right, one day he’s not.  My sister and my mom as well.. Everyone has his/her own story.  I am not sure whether I can explain this right?  I am grateful. I believe in God.  Amen -_-

I am waiting for the second opportunity in my life to pursue my study.   The meeting will be held on the 24th December.  I hope the faculty brought my application to the senate meeting.  My future supervisor has spoken to the programme co-ordinator.  Oh Lord, please give me this second chance.  amen… 

I think my time is almost up and I need to continue my main task – PhD. 

Oh my dear bloggers, please keep praying for me and thank you for always being there for me.  I hope to meet and be around people who will give me a good and positive ambivient in my life. Amen…

May God always protects us. amen..

Love ~ Emma xx.

What I want for Xmas…

Hello everyone,

Hope you are well. 

Xmas is just around the corner.   I know some of xmas stories from Christian perspective. I cannot say I know everything. I believe even few Christians don’t know the meaning of xmas.  So, consider me in this group.  Xmas for me is kinda commercial thingie. 

My dream had came true last year where I really celebrated my first xmas at the age of 30!  Praise to God.   The best thing was I celebrated my xmas at the heartland of xmas, the UK.  Though it was not snowing because it’s a synonym, xmas = white due to the snow.  I know it’s snowing in London. I prayed for white xmas this year but I couldnt be there. I am here in Malaysia. So, I am hoping to have a miracle even though I am in Malaysia heheh..

Last year, I had my xmas tree.  I had good xmas meal and drinks. I got a lot of xmas gifts.  I openned my xmas gifts on xmas eve and on xmas morning   Oh…I missed my xmas last year. Thanks ! 

This year, this week, I am have this xmas spirit.  hahahah..:D  I miss to decorate my tree.  I miss to fill in my stokings.  I miss to open my xmas gifts which under my xmas tree. I miss the xmas crackers.  I miss the food and drink. I miss the whole thing. 

So this is what I want for xmas  (jeng jeng jeng-suspense sound hehehhe)…. I want MIRACLES. 

Hope you will enjoy this song by Mariah Carrey – What I want for Xmas is you http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MBagqdscIdQ&feature=related ;)

Take care guys. Please bear with me about my xmas ‘craving’. hehehhe

Love ~ Emma xx.

Salam Maal Hijrah 1431H

Dear all,

First of all, I’d like to wish you Salam Maal Hijrah 1431H. 

May you have all successes and prosperous Maal Hijrah.  Please forgive me and my family for all our wrong doings in the past, now and for the future.  Please halal everything. 

May Allah SWT bless us all with peace and happiness, good knowledge, good family and friends and good inside out here and in the hereafter.  Amin

Love always ~ Emma xx.

A long day

Hello friends,

How are you doing? Hope you are well  

Today has been hectic  in the morning, especially.  In the afternoon, I was cooling down and was focusing on my research proposal.  I have so many things that I want to do and now I have to learn how to organise and be discipline in what I want to do. 

Besides doing my work, I called the uni again.    I think you know what the result was.  I guess I have to wait till next July.  May be it’s good for me. I can have an ample time to recover from my ‘trauma’.  I do have fears.    My worry is the implication from my employer. I do hope this situation favors to me. I need some miracles though *-*

How to recover from my trauma?  I think you already know -  yes, you are right- gardening.  I called it- flower therapy.  I want to be in touch with earth.  I have to learn how to be patience, how to appreciate nature and how to relax.  So far, I am doing OK.  Well, you are right..how about my retail therapy? hahahah…Wo bo lui in mandarin means I don’t have money..well, I don’t have enough money to spend a lot. LOL. Well, I am still a spendthrift but not that a ’severe’ spendthrift anymore. I know what I need and what I don’t need.  So, I am still learning.    hehehe

Please keep praying for me   Thank you amen..

Oh yeah, just want to share a little thing happened to me. I think I told you before about my engagement before.  This morning, I wanted to get my will letter and I accidently opened an envelope. Inside the envelope was my picture with my ex-fiance. I didn’t look the picture but I knew it was us.  And I told myself, why didn’t I realise this envelope was still kept inside my cabinet.  I think one day I need to do something about this.  Past is past.  I don’t want to live in the past.  I do notice that everytime my mom mentions about him and his family, I try not to ‘talk’ or prolong the conversation.  I just don’t want to remember what had happened.  Oh come on..let me be in denial for a sec! hehehe…I know my mom still has her anger towards him and his family.  And I hope one day my mom will let go this family. For me, it’s useless to think about what this family especially him had done to me.  I know it’s hard to forgive and to forget.  I admit.  But this is life, isn’t it?  We have to move on though we still have grudge to the person.  And it’s our choice to remember the grudge and not moving on vice versa. 

Before I sign out, again..when can I have my own fairy tale? hehehhe…  I want to be a princess and my kingdom will be happy for me   LOL…Oh come on..let me dreaming after I had a long day.  I have to be strong, right?  I am glad I’m in Malaysia.  I don’t know what will happen to me if I am still in London at this time. I am sure I will have a long depression episode and stress for nothing.  Thank you to my beloved parents, family and friends- wherever you are  

Love always ~ Emma xx.

Gardening oh gardening :)

Hello everyone

Hope you are well. How’s your weekend so far?  My weekend has been good yet slow.  But at least I managed to do my things before my weekend ends tonight. hehe..

This evening, I did my gardening.  I transplanted my flowers and vegetables.  Gardening, indeed makes me calm and distracts my mind as well. I told you right, about my PhD application last week.  So, gardening is one of the activities  which can make me relax.   I think I want to start my gardening scrap book. mm..Good idea, doesn’t it?   I want to make myself more discipline and organise.   

(Pssstttt) I saw a big worm in my red onion plant bag!!!!!  yyyyuuueeeeakkkkkk!  Eeeuuuuuwwww!!!  I still can picture of the reddish worm…eeeewwwwwwwwuuuuuwww…  heheheh…Stop thinking! This is one of the CBT techniques.   hehehe… 

Ok, let’s talk about something else.  Oh yeah, I transplanted my money plants into 3 pots.  I hope they grow healthily.  Besides that, I transplanted my potato plants, some ‘crocodile tongue’ but not aloe vera (I think I should get some aloe vera ..), and other plants that I don’t know the names. lol.   I need to have a collection of gardening, flowers and plants books.

I spent about RM38 if I am not mistaken. I got myself flower fertilizer, pots, 2 bags of top soils and 2 bags of mixed soil.  My mom companied me to the pot’s shop at the 4th Mile.  The guy who helped us asked me “Are you Chinese?”  hahaha…It was funny though. Then he helped me to keep all my gardening stuffs in my car boot.  My mom was already in the car.  He whispered to me and asked again. “Are you Chinese?” I said no.  “How about your mom?” I said yes.  And he said, “Oh, she’s married to a Malay man..” I said yes.  heheh..Then out of blue, he continued, “Oh not longer now, you’ll be married to a White man!”  I just laughed. 

This kind of little thing really opened my eyes.  I really need to ‘go out’ and mix with others.  I will be surprised with all these incidents in my life.   

Ok guys, blog again next time. Take care and please keep praying for me k.  Take care and have a good weekend ahead. My weekend will end soon.  I am quite tired and plan to be a sleeping princess soon. I hope there will be a prince when I am awake tomorrow morning and give me a good morning and tender kiss ever. LOL.  Like fairy tales   Do you think I can have this kind of fairy tale in my life? 

Good night everyone Sweet dreams

Love always~ Emma xx.