Gilmore Girl

Good morning everyone

It’s raining in the UK   I am happy with any weather.    Thankful to Him.  Just that, I know I cannot stand strong wind and be in the rain.  I will get sick easily.  At that time, I need my lemon and honey hot drink  

Anyway, I just finished watching the Gilmore Girl episode this morning. The drama is my fav morning programme. hehehe..  The relationship between mom and daughter really hits me.  Reminds me of my own relationship with my mom. 

I ain’t mom yet.  It’s a lie if I say I know how mom feels about her daughter leaves her, hurts her, and be away from her.  Mom knows when her daughter in pain and sad.  Mom will pray for her daughter and wants her daughter be happy. 

Mom’s love, oh..it’s hard to explain.  Love which is so unconditioned.  

I don’t know whether I will be a mother or not. I know from bottom of my heart, I know I want to have my own child(ren).  Just, I don’t know when.   I know I will be a good mother to my child(ren).  I just need to be more patient with child(ren).    Even my gyno advised me to get pregnant soon. Silly her! I don’t want to listen to her as she doesn’t know my life.  

Anyway, Gilmore Girl is a good drama to watch and learn about relationship in family and about love.  What’s so rush to be settled, if we feel not right yet.  Do I want to make mistakes?  Do I want to take risk? Yes, I do.  But sometime in my life, I have things I need to do. 

All right then, take care and have a good day  

Love~ Emma xx.

Sunny vs. Cloudy

Hello guys,

Good morning. How’s everything?

Me..still in searching and looking mode.  heheh..  Life is so unpredictable, right? I hope things will go well soon.  I need to move on and know where I shall end up.  Home is always in my heart. I always think that it’s better to be near to my love ones.  I don’t know. 

Anyway, I will try my best. Keep praying for me.

I miss everyone.  I do. 

Take care and love always ~ Emma xx.

Move on…

Good morning Londoners,

How are you doing today?  I woke nearly 9 today. I slept late last night. Woke up around 5 ish because I heard some noise from the door.  I am so light sleepers.  Poor me ..hehe

Had breakfast and did my work a little bit.  Browsing ‘my new destiny’.

I was reading this column in the Psychologies magazine on page 42- Which comes first, happiness or success?  The question that Claudia Hammond asked at the end of her paragraph- ‘What can we learn from the happiest people so that we can be more like them?’ 

A good question, right?  My question is ‘Are we in this happy category people?’  Am I?  I think I am.  I know it’s really hard to be by myself in London.  Facing difficulties by myself.  I mean, physically.  Don’t get me wrong here. I can feel  love and support from my parents, family, and friends around the world.  Just that, sometime I need my loved ones are here with me when I need them around me. Be in their arms. 

Anyway, I try my best to be happy wherever I am.  So far, I met good people and they become my good friends. Well, I do meet bad people too. Make me stress and learn about life more.  I met one powerful person who was indirectly in-charged my life.  She had a low expectation on me so I won’t let her to do this to me.  Don’t let people do this to you as well.  Get out from there.  Don’t waste your time. I wasted my time since day one but I treassured the stressful  moments.   

Right, do whatever you think you need to do.  Follow your guts. I neglected my guts sometimes, and I should listen to them. 

Alright then, take care and have a good day ahead. It’s windy in London…

Love~ Emma xx.

Look into my heart…

Dear All,

Today, I felt like I’ve never so confident in my life. I’ve never been so sure I’m doing the right thing.  I made a decision  about being happy in what I am doing.  Since I started my program, I never felt happy like happy and enjoy in what I did. 

I learnt a lot from this and I decided not be taught by someone who is bad influence to me. I am an adult and know what is right and wrong.  To be a successful lady, I have to take great risks and try to strive my goals.  I don’t mind to grapple with anything.  I may meet wrong person(s) in my life who has low expectation on me but I won’t let him/her does that to me.  I learn how to respect people and how to be assertive in any conflicts.  I don’t want to give negative impression and be cruel and mean to others because that is not me.  

I don’t want to be cruel and mean to my future students.  I know and I believe I can be an outstanding teacher to my students.  I just need to remember, even though I will have power and my status (by any mean), I will not to use them for my own sake.  I will try to be professional. 

I really need to look into my heart and go after what I really want. 

So guys, please pray for me.   I am so blessed to have great family and friends who support me. 

Till then, take care everyone. 

Love~ Emma xx.

Windy…

Dear all,

How are you guys doing? It’s been more than a week I didn’t update my blog.  For those who check my blog from time to time, I thank you.

Last week has been a stressful week- made a decision that changed..mm…I don’t want to use word change..I prefer ’start’ my new life     My decision to live in London to pursue my study 2 years ago openned my eyes to see the real world.  I learnt so many things here.   One of the valuable experiences I’ve learnt was my experience with people who have power and status.  I know, I can earn this experience in anywhere else.   I am grateful for this experience yet painful. 

My life is just like England’s weather. So unpredictable.  In a second, the weather changes.  What I need is I can cope and adjust myself well.  I hope there is or are opportunity(ies) for me to learn.  I hope there is a second chance for me.  I believe this is not the ending of my story.  I have other things I want to achieve in life.  I want to make a list. I should call the list as ‘I-want.. list’. 

So guys, I thank you for your love, care and support.  I still you in my life.  Pray for me- what is best for me and my family. 

There was a funny thing happened last week- at least something to smile or laugh about right?  hehhe…I went to see a gyno.  I thought she was going to check me.  Out of the blue, she told me, “I think you should consider to have a baby now.”  hhahaha..funny, isn’t it?  I said, ‘excuse me?’   She told me, I am nearly 35 (hey, I am still 31 and 4 years to go to be 35…I am 31 right? 2009 minus 1978 is 31..see..I am right!!), so to have a complication in my pregnancy will be high if I don’t get pregnant now.  hahhaha.. I know that!  But that’s my priority now.  Even my own personal life, I haven’t settled yet. hahaha… Yeah yeah yeah..she got a point… For me, I just let time decides.  If I can get pregnant when I am 37,38, that will be great, right.  If not, then, I am sure my to-be-partner and I will plan something.  I just don’t like people in-charge of my life. Tell me what to do. I’ve had enough with that in my study. 

Alright then, it’s been quiet.  I hope all my bloggers are happy.  Don’t forget, I am here and always be here to listen to you. 

I miss you all out there.  Take care everyone. 

Love~ Emma xx.

Happy birthday wishes to..

Dear all,

I’d like to tell you that I have few birthday wishes to few people I love. There are:

1.  my dad- his birthday is on the 26th July.

2. my sister- her birthday is on the 31st July.

3. Danial – my sweet little cute boy, his birthday was on the 8th.

4. Peter, my very good friend who always comfort me whenever I need one. He knows when I need him without him to say anything till I speak.   His birthday was on the 8th too. 

To all my family and friends, I love you all.  No matter what happens to me, I can feel your TLC and supports till the end.  May God bless you all.

Love always~ Emma xx.

Wanna my weekend will be great…peace of mind, I hope – Emma.

Hello guys,

How are you doing? How’s your week so far? It’s Friday and time to plan our weekend! 

I was stressed  in few days ago and now trying to recover from my stress.  The stress really makes my body tired and exhausted. 

I hope I will have peace of mind this weekend.   I hope my surrounding will allow me to do so.  Now, I feel I am ‘applying’ the theory of needs-  human needs and her environment relationship.  hehehe…

Alright guys, speak to you guys later.  I am in the library now. Hoping to get something done today. I have an appointment with a nurse to do the cervical screening test at 3. gggrrrr…. 

Love you~ Emma xx.

Teachers around the world…

Dear All,

May you have a great Friday so far.   I didn’t do much work today. I went to uni (that’s why I am not fancy to go to uni as I don’t do much work), did couple of things in uni, played badminton (this was the reason why I went to uni)- I won 3 games out of 4. Yuhu!!  Met my colleagues for a while. I didn’t go to office this week.  Supervisors asked about me (gggrrr…my bet though! You know what, I think I am using avoidant-coping).  Anyway, then..I went to Sport Center- got myself a very cheap tennis racquet and the funny thing was my racquet is for junior! lol.  I was so embarassed and asked the silliest question when I held my racquet in my hand and asked the salesgirl- “Is this tennis racquet?”  lol.  She said yes. hahahaha.. Then, I went to another salesgirl- “Is there any racquet for female player?” lol. hahahha….  Two salesgirls assited me this afternoon. It was funny.  I told the cashier lady- it’s been a long time I played tennis. I am good in badminton though. Have I told you that I won 3 games today?   LOL.  

I finally found my water bottle.  I got white Fila brand one.  heheh.. 745 ml. Well, it’s not enough for one day. So, I need to find  water cooler or ‘water machine’. ahahha…

Then, I went to Sainsbury’s to get some raisins, cream cheese (I just found that cream cheese is an American slang. In the UK, we called it as soft cheese), chicken and 2 bagels.  

I had a cup of nescafe.  Gosh..my diet’s gone!  lol. 

Hey, what am I talking about? My title is ‘teachers around the world’. lol. Anyway, I’d like to share you this link that I recieved from my very good and caring and loving friend : http://www.teachermovie.com/ . I have  many good, caring, and loving friends. Don’t get me wrong   

I am touched with this short video clip.  I taught before I came here.  I enjoyed teaching.  I liked to share my knowledge with my students and others.  I loved to learn from my students and others too.  Learning is a two-way communication, right?

[Have you seen the video? Come on..watch it first, then read my next para...lol ]

In my department, I was the youngest lecturer for certain years.  I had the pressure because of those lecturers who were older than me had their experiences in teaching and working with industry.  So, the pressure was there. I tried to cope and ‘tried to find my identity’ as a young lecturer.  I remember I asked this question after I graduated from the States- “What kind of lecturer do I want to be?” My answers were: – “ I have to find my own identity.  I have to find my way of teaching. I have to find how to attract my students to love knowledge as I do.  I don’t want them to flunk. I want them to succeed in what they are doing.  I want my students to be ’someone’ in the future. I want them to know the world out there is not easy as they think. ”

My next question was: “Will I be a good role model to my students?”  ” Will my students understand if I am fussy ad strict in my teaching?” “Will I learn a lot from my students and will they learn a lot from me?”  “How to treat my students?”

My last question was :  “Will I teach my students the right thing?” 

Guess what? I tried and tried so hard to be an outstanding lecturer.  The most and greatest thing Ialways remember where I learnt about life from my students.  Some students, they grapple in their lives in their own way.  Sometime, I burst in tears when heard about their life.  Was it alright to cry in front of my students?  I don’t have the answer till now.  But for sure, I was touched.  I tried not too though, but I just couldn’t hide my feeling because that was my genuine feeling.  I got mad when some lecturers did some  inappropriate ways to my students.  Of course, I checked the things before I talked to them. 

I know, students have their own favorite teacher. I do too.  I still remember my teachers who taught me about life.  So, to my teachers, I’d like to wish you Happy Teacher’s Day.   I really want to find my former teachers and say thank you to every teacher.  If not because of them, I won’t be here. I heard, some of my teachers, they passed away.  AL-Fatihah. 

Alright guys..it’s getting emotional. I haven’t slept since 5.30 this morning.  So, I’d better log out and snooze. lol. 

Good night London.  Good night everyone.  Good morning to my parents and family and friends  and brothers and sisters.    Miss you all.  Hug and kiss for you all. 

Love~ Emma xx.

I am OK now :)

Dear all,

Thank you for your care and support. I didn’t do anything today.  Couldn’t help it.  This morning, I had headache right.  Then took some medication to prevent not to get more sick.  Then I was drowsy and slept till 4.30pm!  hahaha ..

My body, indeed was tired and I guess I deserved to sleep even though I have so much to do. 

I had my dinner already.  So, I am in my room again.  Hoping to do something tonight before go to bed. Hope I can sleep again. 

To all, I thank you for your comments.  I really appreciate it. 

Till then, take care and have a lovely evening ahead.

Love ~ Emma xx.

I am Miss Cranky..I am Miss Grumpy ….

Good morning everyone,

I am cranky this morning. Didn’t have enough sleep and didn’t have good sleep either. oh well..that’s why I don’t like to be pissed.  My brain is tired now.  Thinking to take a nap soon, but my body doesn’t want to.  I guess I need to find something to make my body’s tired. 

Cleaning the house? mmm..  I am pissed because the house is dirty not because of me and my housemate.  We always make sure our house clean. But when there is visitors, they just think this is their house too. That’s the problem.   I hate hoovering.  I hate mopping the floor. 

I am over-sensitive now.  See..a minor thing can be so major right now?  It effects my whole system. My psychological state. 

I am Miss Cranky.  I am Miss Grumpy this morning.  I have lots of things to do.  That’s life, right?  heheh…

I will follow the flow today.  Do you think you can talk to me?  mmm..I think you can..but don’t make me piss and add more trouble today.  I will try to put aside my pressure and think what I like to do today. 

The first thing I want to do is get into shower and start my ‘day’ with smile. I did smile but it was a tiring smile. Poor me…lol…

Take care and have a good day ahead. Don’t be cranky and grumpy like me today..not good… xoxoxo..

Love,

Emma xx.