Dear all,
My room is in mess! lol. I am packing my stuffs- what to ship back and what to store in London.
That’s my current situation 
To my family and friends back home- don’t forget to wake up for sahur tomorrow morning
Love you all~ Emma xx.
Assalammualaikum wbt and Salam Ramadhan to all Muslims,
I’d love to wish happy fasting! I am so excited about fasting this year. In London, we will start our fasting on Saturday, 22nd August. May we all have a great Ramadhan ahead. It’s a good month. 
I remember last year, I was alone and didn’t have any Muslim friends at all. I fasted one day late because I heard wrongly. My good friend in Japan, Man told me that he always fasted that day and I was so excited saying that I would start fasting in the next day. So, I missed my first day of Ramadhan last year. This morning, Man chatted with me through gtalk. Thanks Man for reminding me about Ramadhan this year. hehehe..I was so ‘naive’ stupidly last year. Miss him a lot though.
So guys, Salam Ramadhan to everyone. May Allah always be with us. Amen
Love ~ Emma xx.
Good morning my dearest bloggers,
How are you all doing? Hope everything is good.
As for me, I am ‘worried’ about moving out. One after another, you know. First, about my studying. Looking and meeting experts for my study. Then now. I am planning to move out. I think it’s time.
Everything was fine until last Friday. I accidently dropped the ironing board where a hot iron on it. I didn’t use it but my housemate did. So the iron fell down on the carpet and it has an iron marked on it. My friend, Samy came over yesterday to help me to clean the carpet and the whitish on the carpet from the mark gone. Now, only the mark. not that much though. I’ve asked my landlord and he said he’s going to get an invoice of the carpet. I said, it was an accident and I didn’t use the iron at all. I asked will it for the whole house (or at least the living room but the carpet goes till upstairs) ? He said yes. That is silly, isn’t it? It will be a lot of money and where am I going to get the money? I know money is not everything, but in my case right now..I need the money. I am not rich like others. So last minute, things happened.
I gave my one-month notice and he agreed to give me back my deposit. The accident happened. I want my deposit back as I paid one month rent. It’s a lot for me- 460 quits. I know for some people it’s nothing. For me, it is a lot! I sense that he doesn’t have my deposit as he always told me he didn’t have much money before.
I feel that I am trapped in this ’silly’ situation. Another silly situation. I think London is not for me to live. I feel exhausted. The good thing is I am not giving up yet. I hope I manage to talk to him as he always postpones our meeting. So busy with girls! I feel he starts being so irresponsible. Tries to put the blame on me. If I wanted to count for single penny here that he supposed to pay me, it would be more than my one month rent.
Now my bloggers, I need your advice: I know it’s impossible to get rid the burnt iron mark? But no harm to ask right? Is there any way to get rid it? Thank you to Samy yesterday. He cleaned the iron as well as I noticed there was some burning mark. Last Friday, there wasn’t any mark. After I came back from Cardiff yesterday, I saw the mark. I knew if Samy didn’t help me to clean it, my landlord will use this reason to ask me pay him. I wish I had a magic wand.
He has his real girlfriend besides other girls. He brought one girl came over last Friday to the house. If he didn’t bring her, this thing never happened. hahhaa..poor me..I am trying to console myself and create my own sympathy to myself. I feel like I am fighting myself here as he has so many back-ups.
Oh Lord..please help me…. I need to be strong. I need to be rational. I admit I was emotional. Well, my hormone is not stable. Then he gave me this bullet to shoot me. He said I was annoyed. In fact, he was the one annoyed. The thing was I don’t like about him is he tends to bad mouthing about something in front of third party. That is a bad attitude. I had enough and I told him that. He cursed..and I don’t like people curse. F word or other words are not good. My former supervisor used that words as well. I managed to use my shield not modelling her behavior. I guess people like them are easily say that when they piss. How sad is that?
Thanks to my other friends who gave me advices last night. One friend told me to contact Citizen Bereau Advice in London. I did call just now. But didn’t get a chance to talk to the representative. I will write an email about my tenancy problem. I need to eqiup myself with knowledge so that I have courage to my landlord. I am not good in this area. So, I am learning. I don’t want my landlord and his girlfriend take advantage on me. He said he wants to sell the house as he and his gf have problems. Oh well, with his womanizer attitude, he won’t go anywhere. That’s my theory.
All right then..I need to go to Eltham. Get my mom’s fruit cake. And then need to buy bubble wrapping and other some packing kits. I am going to ship some items to Malaysia. I already got boxes yesterday from the shipping company.
Help me please… thanks guys for listening. I wish everything will be fine with me. I feel want to cry but there is no point to cry now. I will cry when I get everything done! hehehe…
Love you all~ Emma xx.
Hey all,
Lately, I had some bad experiences in my cooking. huhuh…
Like this morning, I made pancakes. Unfortunately, they didn’t turn up that good. My friend and I threw them away. 
Few weeks ago, I made enchiladas and at the end, my cooked-enchiladas fell down to the floor because of the vibration from the washing machine (i did my laundry). huhuh…
Last weekend, I made fried rice. gosh..it didn’t turn good.
These kitchen experience was sad and I want to laugh..hahhaha… 
Oh well..sometime, things happen and I just need to try and try. Never give up in cooking. I am thinking to get a diploma in cooking so that I can be a chef one day. What do you guys think?
All right guys..take care and miss you all.
Love ~ Emma xx.
Hello everyone,
How are you guys doing? Hope everything is fine at your end.
I am doing fine, just a little bit weak because of the period. This time it was not too bad like few months ago. I take some home remedies. The remedies help me. Just that yesterday I couldn’t help myself and just slept almost the whole afternoon. I felt much better this morning.
The meeting with the director went well. See how it goes in these few weeks. She was a nice lady and told me that there were at least four experts in resilience who might interested in supervising me. So, pray for good then. I prayed so hard that I didn’t feel pain or cramp during the meeting. heheh.. Praise to God.
What I need to do now is keep looking and asking around. At the same time, I need to pull myself together because I was breaking into pieces. Be more positive and boost all of my selfs: self-esteem, self-condifident, self-worth… I am still reading and writing on my research. I need to write more on my chapters and stick with what I am doing.
I’ve asked my boss whether I can come back to teach while waiting for the whole thing. I just cannot wait and sit. I don’t want to waste my time. I know people will say behind me. Well, I will try to focus in my life because only I know what happen to me in this life. People just know how to criticize. Families and friends who know my situation are always be there for me . I am blessed.
Things happened and I have to move on. I try not to look back. Move forward. Like Jose told me – “Look forward. Don’t look back. Forget about the past. Get your phd. I am sure you will get your phd once you found appropriate supervisor.” Amen. Not only him told me that- many friends told me that too.
All right guys..take care and have a lovely day. I am sitting in front of my laptop. Doing my work a little bit. Just had prawn mayo sandwich.
Love~ Emma xx.
Dear All,
How are you? May all is well. I am fine. I know.. I know..it’s been for ages I didn’t write anything to my loyal visitors Life is crazy at my end. I am having ups and downs in my life now. Put my effors, hoping and praying are the things that I can do at the moment.
As I mentioned before, I have a great circle of social support that always makes me move on. Thank you all.
This weekend, I went to Cardiff. I love the city very much. So much different with London.
Tomorrow (Monday) I have an appointment with a director of post graduate program in Cardiff. Hoping to get a chance to pursue my research. I need to find appropriate and responsible supervisor who can supervise me. I deserve a good guru. Everyone does, right?
So, hope everything goes fine with me tomorrow. Amin.
Till then, take care and have a good night.
Love from Cardiff~ Emma xx.
Dear all,
How are you guys doing? May all is well.
I am off to Brighton soon. Will meet a resilient therapist to discuss about my study. I hope everything will go fine. Please keep praying for me.
My life is uncertained. I don’t like this feeling for sure. Hope will have some answers soon. I need to move on.
Take care and love you all.
Love~ Emma xx.
