Faculty nite

Dear all,

May you have a wonderful evening so far

I just came back from my faculty dinner at the Grand Margarita Hotel. I had a good and s0-s0 night. The good part was I won one of the lucky number prizes.  I got a coffee set.  For the research award, together with my colleagues, we won the faculty research award tonight.   I am grateful with this award, however I don’t feel I deserve it though. Though I helped the team to build the system, but I don’t think I gave all-out.  I feel there are other person deserves this award than me.   Yes, it’s true without my supervision and input, it won’t be like we have right now.  Anyway, past is past right. So, in the future..I believe after I completed my study, I will work out on my own research product.  I know I can.  Might be tonight was a stepping stone for me to work harder and be more inovative in my own research field. 

This week will be my ‘week’ where I will know whether I am being accepted to the uni or not? Oh..please keep praying for me.  Amin.  I really want to finish my study. This is me.  My attitude is I will finish for whatever I’ve started.  amin…

The reason I said so-so earlier because I still have this grudge.  For some reasons, everything didn’t go well whenever I remember and hear something.  I rather kept quiet and didn’t pay any attention to anyone tonight.  I think this time is the time to ’start’ my journey again to another dimension. 

Thinking of this really makes me unpleasant.  I hope I won’t develop my own stigma about certain men though.  Indeed, it is not fair.  Please bear with me..it’s just me because I am disappointing about personal matters. 

All right…let’s me not dragging you and myself to the ‘annoyed’ world.  This week, back to my habit when I have stress and when I am pissed off- I went shopping. LOL Shopping really makes me happy.  I bought a blue blouse from Ms Read.  Luckily they had 30% discount so I just only paid for RM99 (I think) for my new blouse.  I was thinking to get a new pair of jeans. But I didn’t get one.  But now I know where to buy suits.   This morning, I went to Persona and bought myself 4 scarves. ehhehe…  So ‘nice’ to spend. lol.  I went to South China Sea (Wasn’t it?) and wanted to get the purple top.  Unfortunately, the chest part was a little bit small for me.  I wish they had bigger size.  I liked the color. In fact, my mom chose for me.  Then, we went to 7th Mile.  I bought myself a night gown. 

That was how I entertained my broken heart. hehehe…    Orite then, need to sleep. Will have a long meeting tomorrow morning.  I think I’d better get up early to do my work.  No mood to write more.  Hope  I can buy rojak kuchei for our breakfast tomorrow.  I volunteered to buy breakfast for department tomorrow.  Next week will be other person. 

Thank you for your ears again. Take care and have a good day. 

Love~ Emma xx.

Why?

Dear all,

How are you doing? I need you to ‘listen’ to me.  heheh (sound serious, doesn’t it?) 

I know some women out there may have similar problem or issue as mine.  Why do I keep seeing men who ‘is not right’ for me? When can I have a settled life?  Yes, I do admit. I need to focus on my career first.  Yes, I know my responsibilities to my family and career as well as what I want in life.

I felt so frustrated this afternoon but now, I feel so much better.  Praise to God.  Oh Lord..guide me to the right path..amin… 

Ok guys..thank you for lending your ears.  hehehe..I know I didn’t disclose what was what.  I am sorry. Just I couldn’t just reveal my frustrations to the world..yet   You can say whatever you want to say like I’m too reserved. That’s fine. I know what is best for me.

xoxoxox ~ Emma x.

BBQ at Shasha’s house

Hello everyone         

How’s ur weekend so far?  Mine was not too bad.  The weather was not that good neither.  But I like rain, so rain is not a problem for me. 

Anyway, last night, I went to Shasha’s house for a bbq party.  It was good to meet everyone.  ‘Catch-up’ with all my little cousis. lol.   

I wore a punjabi dress.  Samy  and his wife gave me a pair when I was in London. Thank you Samy & Su!  xoxox : )   My family loved the dress!   I love it too! 

All right then, a short story from me.   I am planning to start writing again.   To confront of my fear of writing or in scientific, this kind of phobia is graphophobia. I got this term from WikiAnswers. com. hehehe… Please correct me if I am wrong  

It’s time, Princess Emma!  

Ok, time to publish this column.

Cikgu’s favorite poem ;) Let’s read together (ahak..)

Good morning Malaysia, Good evening UK and America

How are you guys doing today?  I am still working on my phobia paper work. Hope I can finish it by today.  This morning, I haven’t started my writing yet as I needed to do some tasks before sit down and focus.  Having a huge cup of coffee and a red bean bun.  Mom just called and asked how was I.  I am truly a princess – Princess Emma.  :D 

Checked my email and recieved an email from Cikgu in Florida.  She’s my truly friend who understands me and one of my friends who always advise and give me support.  I prefer a friend who can speak to me straight forward.   My brain hardly process information that has double meaning.  hahahah.. I am quite systematic. That’s why I need to learn how to be ‘cheecky’. hahahha  Anyway, Cikgu has given me her favorite poem.  I’d love to share with you all. 

Robert Frost (1874–1963). Mountain Interval. 1920. 1.

The Road Not Taken

TWO roads diverged in a yellow wood, And sorry I could not travel both And be one traveler, long I stood And looked down one as far as I could To where it bent in the undergrowth; 5

Then took the other, as just as fair, And having perhaps the better claim, Because it was grassy and wanted wear; Though as for that the passing there Had worn them really about the same, 10

And both that morning equally lay In leaves no step had trodden black. Oh, I kept the first for another day! Yet knowing how way leads on to way, I doubted if I should ever come back. 15

I shall be telling this with a sigh Somewhere ages and ages hence: Two roads diverged in a wood, and I— I took the one less traveled by, And that has made all the difference. 20

So, what do you think?  I read many times because I need to understand the message for each line   

To cikgu, thank you for this poem.  Take care and I always miss you.  Hope to see you again one day.  This is my little poem for you, Cikgu: -

Though we apart by sea and time zone,

 and yet, we still have a piece of love to each other. 

Emma, Kota Samarahan.

XOXOXOOXOXOX

I am back & so many stories to tell.. ;)

Hello my dearest bloggers

How are you guys doing?  Thank you for being patient and do apologise for not updating my blog recently. I was away for a counseling conference which was held in the Palace of Golden Horses, KL.  I was quite disappointed because I couldn’t get online there.  The reason was if I wanted to access internet, I had to pay.  I didnt want to pay extra after I paid RM500 for 2 nights!  Long story about my hotel room reservation.  Anyway, don’t want to think about it. 

Remember I told you about the hotel at Batu Feringgi, Penang?  That one was better. Even I didn’t pay any single cent for the internet connection.  lol. *OK Emma, stop it!* lol.  

I came back this evening and got home around 6.30.  My flight was delayed.  Do you want to know why? lol.  They changed the plane’s tyres. lol.  So was delayed for about 30 min or so.  Touched down Kuching at 5.30.  I was too exhausted and fell asleep (as usual). Those who know me, I am the person who loves to sleep on the plane!  lol. 

Before landed, I ordered a cup of  Ipoh Town White Coffee. Interesting coffee!  Since I came back from London, I saw many Ipoh Town White Coffee shops in Kuching.   I was curious.  Even at the airport, the shop is there.  So I tried the coffee.  It was just normal coffee with milk!  lol.  Not too bad. One day, I want to go to the coffee shop and try. The taxi driver told me that they serve good coffee with reasonable price. I think I became so hyperactive as I drank too much coffee.  I needed to stay up and stayed warm. So I drank many cups of coffee!  Now, I feel unwell- headache because too much caffeine. hehehe… I need to drink water. Well, I drank many bottles of water as well.  I think because of the weather as well. 

Anyway, the conference was beneficial to me. Really!  The themes, the keynote speakers, the research papers and the workshops were awesome!  Congratulations to the organizer- Universiti Pendidikan Sultan Idris (UPSI) esp to Dr Ahmad Jazimin Jusoh.  He’s a good friend and peer counselor to me.  He gives me advises continuously.  When I had problem in London, he was one of my friends who supported me, even till now.  He was the one who invited me to attend the conference. At that time, I was still in London and wasn’t sure where was I at that time.  He invited me to present my paper.  Praise to God, though it was last minute. I told Dr Jazimin that I’d like to come and present a paper.   He really helped me a lot.  I invited him personally to my presentation. I knew he was busy but he came to support me. I felt so honored of his presence.  Even he came with his colleagues and for me, they are one of the counselling experts in Malaysia.  So, now you would understand why I was so honored of their presence. Thank you Drs.

By the way, Dr Ahmad Jazimin is an expert of reality therapy (RT) in Malaysia.  So, I really recommend you if you are interested in studying RT or believe that RT can help you in solving your problem, I highly recommend you  

Met counselling experts in Malaysia and was with them in this week really motivated me to not give up.  I want to be like them. I want to be specialised and expert in my own field.  I hope this time my phd sailing will be smooth.  I know I will face different set of obstacles, but I hope I can and have good and responsible supervisor(s) to supervise me.  I want to learn God’s knowledge from ‘the right’ teacher.  I don’t want a teacher who will impose bad attitudes to me. Because sooner or later, I will be a bad person to others.  No, I don’t want to be like that. 

Right, this is a long blog, isn’t it? Boring? Please..don’t…  stay with me. I have so many stories to tell. 

Ok ok..one ‘bedtime’ story before I sign out.  lol.   

One person whom I really wanted to see is Ah Hock.    He’s a counselor at hospital (mmm…don’t want to tell you which hospital). hehehe.. I met him when I did my students’ supervision.  Till now, we still keep in touch.  For me, he’s really positive and energetic.  We ‘catch-up’ last night over the dinner.  He was shocked with my ‘life story’ in England. I told him I needed his help to ‘erase’ my irrational and negative thoughts in my head!  He advised me to take a break. I told him I cannot take a break. I told him my reasons.  He nodded. I told Ah Hock that I still have this phobia in writing, public speaking in English. hua hua hua…  He said he will try to help me.    Oh..it was really good to meet other counselors and yet my friends around Malaysia.   :) xoxo.  Oh by the way, Ah Hock is an expert in art therapy and clinical counselling. So guys, if you need his expertise, go to him. I really recommend you too! 

Oh, I have to tell this story – I MET MY FORMER STUDENTS. THEY ARE NOW SO SUCCESSFUL IN THEIR CAREER! Praise to God!  I asked them to call me by my name because we are peers in counseling field.   I am so proud of them and really grateful.  We (Lecturers) really did a very outstanding job.  I hope all of our former students will be successful in their own expertise and be responsible in what they are doing.  The reason I said we did an outstanding job because I got recognition from other universities, counsellors and agencies and they told me that “YOUR FORMER STUDENTS ARE REALLY GOOD IN THEIR JOB.”  Most of our graduates work in counseling-related field.  So guys, keep it up! 

Another story…ok ok ..the last one lol.  I met my old friend at the conference!!!  Old friend means from my friend from primary school!!!! When Remy came to me, oh my gosh..I hugged her and I was so happy.  She’s a counsellor at the Education Department and the head of department in Samarahan.   *Remy, correct me if I am wrong?* 

MasyaAllah- I was so happy.  I think this is one of the hikmahs from my London decision. 

Oh oh oh…. this is the last one ….  I met Auntie Zuraidah and Najidah!!!!  I really wanted to see auntie and Najidah.  My goodness…Najidah picked me up at the airport on Monday night and straight to Port Dickson (PD), Negeri Sembilan.  We didn’t expect that we would overnight at auntie’s apartment in PD.   We celebrated auntie’s birthday.  We bought 3 slices of different cake  and pizza.  Auntie loves pizza so much.  Oh, I was so grateful.  Thank you Najidah. Without you, I won’t be able to see auntie.  Auntie, love you   xoxox..

mmm…I think you don’t want to hear my presentation story, do you? lol.  I think I’ll tell tomorrow, if I remember.  But a hint..I was so clumsy. lol.  Time was limited- just 10 min but I was exceeded the time. hehehe..Well, not my fault  Before the parallel session, there was a workshop.  They took longer.  So, that was why.  Then I asked around and apologised. But they said they understood.  Praise to God, they liked my presentation. Alhamdullilah   Oh well..I just told you about my presentation story. hahaha….    Got you!!!

Ok then…I’ll let you go this time. hahahhaha….   Ehem..ehem… (in whispering) – If nothing happen, I will go to Padang, Indonesia at the end of this month.  To be a volunteer to help the earthquake victims for a week.  Thanks Ah Hock for recommended me to Insaf Malaysia.  I am so excited about this.    I hope everything goes fine.   Amin

Of course, I am still waiting anxiously about my phd application.  I hope the graduate school will call me for an interview next week and hope I can enrol to UPM next month.  Remember I told you I need to ‘erase’ my phobias, may be this volunteering work will motivate me to be more confident and boost my self-esteem back to ME!  Amin. 

OK OK…I am tired already. hahahah…. I am sure you don’t want more stories  

Thank you for your time and sleep dreams.  hahahha….  Sorry for keeping you to read on and on and on like this.  lol.  You must asking yourself – “When the hell Emma is going to stop?” I am stopping…lol..almost there

Good night.  Love always ~ Emma xx.

p.s: Please pray for me and support me xoxoxo.