Happy Maal Hijrah November 28, 2011
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Hello my bloggers 
How are you doing? First, I’d like to wish everyone a Happy Maal Hijrah (Happy New Year for our Muslim calendar). I know, it’s belated but frankly speaking, I thought the new year is today, not yesterday. I just realized it yesterday morning when I wanted to go to see my doctor for my regular checking. I feel bad as a Muslim. I know dates are not my thing now. It’s not good. Time flies really fast and I just ensure every day I do something and achieve some of them, at least.
Anyway, I hope everything is fine with you. As for me, things are doing ok. I hope in this year, I cherish my life more. For God’s willing
Although few days ago, a friend or maybe no more a friend ended our friendship due to a silly thing. Might be to him, it was a big thing. He was so nonsense. In the past two weeks, seemed that I had dramas with friends. After the friendship breakup, I’ve asked myself- AM I NOT A GOOD FRIEND TO MY OWN FRIENDS? I noticed that since I openned up my feeling, showing up my nerd-ess to be so honest, shared my sensitivity about disagrement about something, my friends seem couldn’t take my honesty and my real me. Yes, I am nice and kind. I empathize a lot and try to understand and compromise. But at some point, I cannot take it anymore. I can be so confrontational. Trust me…I don’t like me when I am at that stage. May be I am too harsh and not saying good things. I ’stop and check’ myself, I don’t use harsh words, I don’t raise voice, and show my upsetness..but I use my factual words that reflect to what I see and hear and responses from my friends’ behavior and words. Believe me..I still try my best to be liberal. I listen first.
So now.. am I really not good to my own friends? Or may be this is one of the answers from God? As I pray to God, to give me good friends. Apart those friends who always give me the negative energy? I know, I am not supposed to question about my prayers to God. Of course I want the best for myself and for my friends too. May be I am giving them the negative energy and this is the best way to ’settle it?’ I hope I can see the goodness from this situation.
about the friend who ended our friendship…it’s so silly. Let me give you a concept. Let’s me and him (A) play in the playground. And suddenly, another friend (B) comes and I play with this friend. But before I want to play with A, I’ve asked B to play with me first. B came late and as if I left A behind. Which I don’t invite A to the playground. It happens A is there already and invited himself. A gets so excited and I don’t feel I want to play with him before B comes. Very childish, doesn’t it? I don’t expect this kind of situation between me and a 35 yr old man!
Ok then..time to get ready for a wedding reception. Take care and have a nice day. Miss you guys a lot and thanks for checking me up 
Love always ~ Emma xx
A “M” Proposal? November 13, 2011
Posted by emma1202 in Diary of Life.Tags: Proposal
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Hello my bloggers,
How’s your Sunday? Mine, old same old same but something new I did this morning. I did my exercise in the morning, instead in the evening. I was wondering what is the best time for me to exercise? I think I wanna try to exercise, walking on my treadmill machine every morning. See, how it goes for 3 days. For God’s willing
Haven’t done anything yet on my work. My brain feels tired. I guess, it needs to rest after my 2-day-of-period-pain! Crazy, isn’t it?
Anyway, just writing here and I’d like to share some thoughts with you, my dear bloggers. the thing is..last week, a British friend of mine from the UK, told me that he still has the feeling towards me. He says he doesn’t mind to move to Malaysia, find job here, settle down here with me, and this is the best part what he says…if our religion becomes our constraint, then he’s willing to convert to Islam. Intense, isn’t it? He said, try to finish your PhD soon and we shall talk. Yes, I want to settle down after my phd. Definitely! It’s time to think about personal life after this. I pray and pray to God about this. To show me to this man. amen..
So, this is my second drama. I don’t want to say any further to this lovely friend. I like him. When I was in London, he was my ‘family’ there. Yes, he told me about his feeling before I left London for good. And he knew that I could not commit as he wished. He knew that.
As you could imagine, I was scared. I am scared and I told him, you scared me! hahahaha..I am not sure whether that is the right feeling or not. But one friend told me, in life, we need to be brave to get out from our comfort zone. Yes, I know that. I am the princess of trying new things. but not in my personal life…in my career of course! heheheh… I pray that God gives me strength and sanity to decide amen
Please pray for me, my dearest friend bloggers. Thank you so much for your care and love to me. I need this, and of course my priority is still to finish my phd. Writing about this, I am meeting my first supervisor tomorrow. Pray for my calmness and my brain functions well. amen…
Till then, take care and have a great weekend ahead. Love from me ~Emma xxo
Single vs. Married November 12, 2011
Posted by emma1202 in Diary of Life.Tags: Single vs. Married
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Good evening everyone
How are you doing? How’s everything? Hope your life is great so far I have a drama this week…I know I know..as usual drama drama drama Well, but for sure I did learn something this week, a lot!
After 3 this afternoon, I felt much better after another monthly episode Praise to God, I survived from the pain episode. And started to do my work. Slowly, try to boost my energy up. Need to eat a lot of vegies and fruities..hehehe
Anyway, my drama was related to violation of trust from a married couple. I am still thinking about this..it’s still bothering and my feeling is still disturbed due to this matter. Put in this way, I am blessed to have a circle of friends who are educated and expert in their expertise. But one thing I simply take for granted is as they are in this ‘professional world’ which I shouldn’t because they are just human being..not perfect, some of them do not know how to differentiate between personal and professional life. It should be like this. But some or few people, they just or may be their partner don’t understand how to differentiate, or sense of respect to their partner. Although you are married (please forgive me to write this as a single lady), doesn’t mean you (wife or husband) need to check every single action, emails, phone calls, etc esp related to the work stuffs. If you do, this shows that your marriage (it’s a sign) is in trouble!!! Honest! You don’t respect your own partner’s privacy, no trust and definitely, you are so paranoid about yourself and about your partner and marriage, obviously. I am sorry for writing this *-*
This is me… When I write to someone, means I trust that person to get his or her advice about my personal life. Yes, I am a counselor..even a registered counselor in Malaysia, but still, I have problems in life, and dilemmas in life, and I need some experts to help me. But I don’t want any person or third party to read my personal emails. It doesn’t matter she or he reads one or two lines or the whole emails, to me it’s a violation of trust between me and my friend. I don’t want to get involve in any marriage dramas, because I have a lot in my plate already. I don’t want to listen and try to understand the third party’s feeling because what I do is just to get some advice. If I wanted to, I asked. That’s a simple rule, OK! What’s wrong with this person? The good thing was I had a feeling on the very morning day when I found out about this!
I was so irrational and childish. I blocked the emails and try not answer any calls and texts. Yes, I did that because I felt hurt! I confronted the friend, and you won’t believe what my friend said to me. That was insane! I know, it’s not good to break a friendship up. But I don’t want to make friends with people who don’t trust me as friend..careless about my feelings. no matter I am right or wrong, at the end of the day, I am in my losing side. so, I don’t want to waste my time with this kind of friendship. I think you can feel my upsetness about this..right? hehehe
If I was a client, I definitely would make a complain about this kind of violation. I feel embarassed. I feel hurt. My friend said that he/she does not want to hurt partner’s feeling. How about my feeling? Is this a loss for single person? No one will care about single person’s feelings? Bad isn’t it? Hellloooo…we single person are human being too….
Anyway, that’s my lesson of the week. I know not all married couples are like that. I know many married couples who trusted each other, respect each other’s boundaries etc. I think, my observation about life, really reminds and teaches me how to behave one day. I believe there are many ways to communicate between couples. To me, if one partner tries so hard to please another partner, and tries to avoid argument, and start screaming at partner, name calling, etc…those are signs of emotional abuse! Beware of these signs..not only for married couples, but to bf/gf too. I know, many things…you know your relationship best than me. I know who am I to write and say about this..I know who am I but I have to voice this out..because single person has feelings too. 
All right then, you do take care and pray for the best esp for our life. Take care and good night. Sweet dreams ~ Emma xx
Salam Aidiladha November 8, 2011
Posted by emma1202 in Diary of Life.Tags: Codependency between parents and children, happiness in life, life journey, Love yourself, Salam Aidiladha 2011
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Good morning and a very good Salam Aidiladha to all my bloggers
Howa are you doing? I hope everything is fine. How was your Aidiladha going on? I celebrated with my few Iranian friends. It was a great catch-up with them as we didn’t keep in touch for a long time. Had a great intellectual discussion though about codependency between parents and children.
The major question was ”How much we have to respect our parents when they are so codependent to us?” She popped out this kind of question and along the way there were more. Another interesting question, “Do we have to wait for parents’ blessings before we settle down? How long do we have to wait? What if, the parents didn’t give any blessing? Should we wait?”
I am a traditional daughter. I still believe about getting blessing from my parents. I need their bless so that I feel calm in my life journey. I know there will be a lot of obstacles along the way and a lot of bumpy and wearisome. I need my parents’ doa and guidance. Although we are apart from each other, the feeling is there! Hard to explain but I believe you know what I mean The thing is everyone sacrifices when someone is away from home. The loneliness..the empty nest…it kills us. But we have goals in life. In order to achieve these goals, we need to sacrifice. We want to change our life to a better one, dont’ we? So for God’s willing, we can
I told this friend, just remember, without our parents, we won’t be in this world. no family doesn’t have family drama. No family is perfect because we are not perfect! We are different to each other. We have our beliefs and values. But I know one thing, any relationship that we want to work it out, we need to put effort in it. If we are not ready, it’s better don’t do anything and just be there. Only God knows.
My dearest bloggers,
I am 33 year-old and I’ve found many different people who have different view of life. A friend of mine keeps telling me, ”I don’t know what do I want in this life? I know, I want this PhD, good family, good money, etc, but what actually we want?” I tell him everytime, I want happiness!~ proudly I say ;) And he asks me again, “What is happiness?” I have my own definition of happiness and tell him. But for some reasons, he cannot accept my answer. Hey, that’s my definition, isn’t it? See, how someone can just ‘do that’ to us. I remember I read something about this matter. I am blessed that I am a positive thinker and I know what I want in life so far. But sometime, in life, like I said earlier, my life journey is bumpy now. I am struggling inside out. Spiritually, I need this. I am learning now
Ok then..long story…just wanna to share with you. I know, I am kinda disappointed you and for those who always check on me, may God bless you and your family. Let’s pray together for our happiness, our safety, and our good relationship with God and others. amen
Till then, Selamat Hari Raya Aidiladha. Remember, show your love to yourself first, then others can feel the loving side of yours Love always from me ~Emma xoxo.
