Emma1202's Weblog

Single vs. Married November 12, 2011

Good evening everyone

How are you doing?  How’s everything?  Hope your life is great so far   I have a drama this week…I know I know..as usual drama drama drama Well, but for sure  I did learn something this week, a lot!  

After 3 this afternoon, I felt much better after another monthly episode    Praise to God, I survived from the pain episode.  And started to do my work.  Slowly, try to boost my energy up.  Need to eat a lot of vegies and fruities..hehehe  

Anyway, my drama was related to violation of trust from a married couple.  I am still thinking about this..it’s still bothering and my feeling is still disturbed due to this matter.  Put in this way, I am blessed to have a circle of friends who are educated and expert in their expertise.  But one thing I simply take for granted is as they are in this ‘professional world’ which I shouldn’t because they are just human being..not perfect, some of them do not know how to differentiate between personal and professional life.  It should be like this.  But some or few people, they just or may be their partner don’t understand how to differentiate, or sense of respect to their partner.  Although you are married (please forgive me to write this as a single lady), doesn’t mean you (wife or husband) need to check every single action, emails, phone calls, etc esp related to the work stuffs.  If you do, this shows that your marriage (it’s a sign) is in trouble!!! Honest!  You don’t respect your own partner’s privacy, no trust and definitely, you are so paranoid about yourself and about your partner and marriage, obviously.  I am sorry for writing this *-*

This is me…  When I write to someone, means I trust that person to get his or her advice about my personal life. Yes, I am a counselor..even a registered counselor in Malaysia, but still, I have problems in life, and dilemmas in life, and I need some experts to help me.   But I don’t want any person or third party to read my personal emails.  It doesn’t matter she or he reads one or two lines or the whole emails, to me it’s a violation of trust between me and my friend.  I don’t want to get involve in any marriage dramas, because I have a lot in my plate already. I don’t want to listen and try to understand the third party’s feeling because what I do is just to get some advice.  If I wanted to, I asked.  That’s a simple rule, OK!  What’s wrong with this person?  The good thing was I had a feeling on the very morning day when I found out about this! 

I was so irrational and childish.  I blocked the emails and try not answer any calls and texts.  Yes, I did that because I felt hurt! I confronted the friend, and you won’t believe what my friend said to me.  That was insane!  I know, it’s not good to break a friendship up.  But I don’t want to make friends with people who don’t trust me as friend..careless about my feelings.  no matter I am right or wrong, at the end of the day, I am in my losing side.  so, I don’t want to waste my time with this kind of friendship.  I think you can feel my upsetness about this..right?  hehehe   

If I was a client, I definitely would make a complain about this kind of violation. I feel embarassed.  I feel hurt.  My friend said that he/she does not want to hurt partner’s feeling.  How about my feeling?  Is this a loss for single person? No one will care about single person’s feelings?  Bad isn’t it?  Hellloooo…we single person are human being too…. 

Anyway, that’s my lesson of the week.  I know not all married couples are like that.  I know many married couples who trusted each other, respect each other’s boundaries etc.  I think, my observation about life, really reminds and teaches me how to behave one day.  I believe there are many ways to communicate between couples.  To me, if one partner tries so hard to please another partner, and tries to avoid argument, and start screaming at partner, name calling, etc…those are signs of emotional abuse!  Beware of these signs..not only for married couples, but to bf/gf too.  I know, many things…you know your relationship best than me.  I know who am I to write and say about this..I know who am I but I have to voice this out..because single person has feelings too. 

All right then, you do take care and pray for the best esp for our life.  Take care and good night.  Sweet dreams ~ Emma xx