Happy Maal Hijrah

Hello my bloggers

How are you doing?  First, I’d like to wish everyone a Happy Maal Hijrah (Happy New Year for our Muslim calendar).  I know, it’s belated but frankly speaking, I thought the new year is today, not yesterday.  I just realized it yesterday morning when I wanted to go to see my doctor for my regular checking.   I feel bad as a Muslim.  I know dates are not my thing now.  It’s not good.  Time flies really fast and I just ensure every day I do something and achieve some of them, at least.

Anyway, I hope everything is fine with you.   As for me, things are doing ok. I hope in this year, I cherish my life more.  For God’s willing

Although few days ago, a friend or maybe no more a friend ended our friendship due to a silly thing.  Might be to him, it was a big thing.   He was so nonsense.  In the past two weeks, seemed that I had dramas with friends.  After the friendship breakup, I’ve asked myself- AM I NOT A GOOD FRIEND TO MY OWN FRIENDS? I noticed that since I openned up my feeling, showing up my nerd-ess to be so honest, shared my sensitivity about disagrement about something, my friends seem couldn’t take my honesty and my real me.  Yes, I am nice and kind. I empathize a lot and try to understand and compromise.  But at some point, I cannot take it anymore.  I can be so confrontational.  Trust me…I don’t like me when I am at that stage.    May be I am too harsh and not saying good things.   I ’stop and check’ myself, I don’t use harsh words, I don’t raise voice, and show my upsetness..but I use my factual words that reflect to what I see and hear and responses from my friends’ behavior and words.  Believe me..I still try my best to be liberal.  I listen first.  

So now.. am I really not good to my own friends?  Or may be this is one of the answers from God?  As I pray to God, to give me good friends.  Apart those friends who always give me the negative energy?  I know, I am not supposed to question about my prayers to God.  Of course I want the best for myself and for my friends too.  May be I am giving them the negative energy and this is the best way to ’settle it?’   I hope I can see the goodness from this situation. 

about the friend who ended our friendship…it’s so silly.  Let me give you a concept.  Let’s me and him  (A) play in the playground.  And suddenly, another friend (B) comes and I play with this friend.  But before I want to play  with A, I’ve asked B to play with me first.  B came late and as if I left A behind.  Which I don’t invite A to the playground. It happens A is there already and invited himself.  A gets so excited and I don’t feel I want to play with him before B comes.  Very childish, doesn’t it?   I don’t expect this kind of situation between me and a 35 yr old man! 

Ok then..time to get ready for a wedding reception.  Take care and have a nice day. Miss you guys a lot and thanks for checking me up   Love always ~ Emma xx